04 January 2010

Mom's Intrinsic Value

Sometimes we forget who we are, who we were made to be. Yes, you LOVE being a mom, you choose to be around your kids all day, every day... but before there were kids in your life, what was there?

When you are feeling like you lost some part of yourself between the books and the record-keeping and the diapering and the sweeping, take a minute and remember that woman you were before you were a homeschool mom.

(This is related, stick with me.) My husband seems to know a million people. When I meet one, they usually look at me with a sort of surprised look. I figured it out- James told them that we have four kids. He told them I stay at home and homeschool them. Therefore, I must be a middle-aged teacher that they remember from their 1985 fifth-grade yearbook. When they see me in person and I am only a 30 year-old in decent shape with four small kids, their mind takes a moment to adjust.

Sometimes the only thing you can do to get a boost in energy is dress up to the nines and go out on the town with your husband. Remind him that you aren't just the one running the house and the school, but the one he fell in love with __ years ago!

When you remember that you used to scrapbook but you are waa-ay behind, or that you haven't sold your Mary Kay minimum yet, or your (here's mine) favorite author had a new book published and you haven't even seen the cover yet, much less read it... take a minute. Do those things for yourself!

Even if you can't get a sitter for daytime hours, take a crazy wonderful spa-worthy bubble bath when the kids are in bed. Turn on a movie they've never seen and while they're little zombies, read a new (NOT educational or homeschool oriented) book or magazine. Go for a long run.

I usually have to figure out treats at home because of childcare issues. One thing that I would love to do OUT of the house would be an early morning coffee date with my mom or my sister or another friend. Or, a late-night trip to the grocery store to get food in *silence.* What a treat that would be!

I have four kids, and a lot of my friends have less. I can still trade childcare with them, though. I watch their two kids for 4 hours and that equals 2 hours for my four kids!

If all else fails, attempt something totally foreign and new. For me, that's buying a People magazine. For you, it might be taking that free intro to Pilates class (Pee-lot-ease, it's said, just so you don't embarrass yourself like I did, saying Pie-lets).

Make sure that you begin to indoctrinate your kids now. When you attempt to recapture your inner self, make your kids repeat something like this:

"Mom is a person. Mom has her own likes. Mom needs time alone. It is in my best interest to let Mom have some time to pursue her own interests." That way, they are creating an internal recording of healthy facts to refer to when they want to come find you.

I'm so pleased you are reading Higher Education!
Click on the post title to leave a comment!
Teresa (Tracy) Dear


  1. Amen Sister! Thanks the reminder that we do need to pamper ourselves and not feel all kinds of guilt about doing it! We make much better mommies and much better teachers for our kids, not to mention wives for our husbands, when we are somewhere closer to content in our lives. Thanks

  2. Thanks Dee! I know I do better at everything when I have a minute to myself somewhat regularly.

  3. Hannah @ A Quiet SpotJanuary 6, 2010 at 8:50 PM

    I LOVE that mantra! Indoctrinating my kids starts tomorrow!

    (This is an issue I think a lot about, by the way. I loved reading your take on it.)

  4. I like the word indoctrination. Must be the AF Intel person inside of me.